what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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