You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Boobs are out for the taking
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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