Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we're making bets on your personal life
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Someone came in the potted fern
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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