forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
