im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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