After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
