She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
