I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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