My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
