That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
