He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
