Christians are straight up FREAKS
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
