i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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