she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
its liver damage thursday
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
