We're like a lot better than the average bears
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
