And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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