There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
