No stitches, just platelets and will power
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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