so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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