I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
