thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
