...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
