Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
