I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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