so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
