How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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