But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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