I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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