I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
