Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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