I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
