Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
