NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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