I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
