I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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