I want to have your abortion
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
