Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
