I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
