The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
