i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
