one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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