I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Everyone says I win the strip club
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
