she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
