do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
