The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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