No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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