apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
