To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
