He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
