do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
