do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
