eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
