u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
